XX: Why would we get a dog?!
XY: Well, you got one already, we just don’t know where it is!
XX: Then what’s the point of talking about it?!
XY: The dog is a human’s best friend, I just thought it’d be necessary!
XX: Ne-ce-ssa-ry… how is this ever going to work?!
XY: What, us?
XX: No… no! What?!
XY: See, you’re not playing the game. Let’s pretend we get a dog.
XX: I thought you said we already…
XY: Look, let’s not argue…
XX: I thought arguing gave more authenticity to this.
XY: It does, because arguing is humane, making mistakes is humanly, but…
XX: Let’s get our act straight.
XY: Exactly, baby!
XX: Don’t call me baby!!!
XY: That’s “natural” too!
XX: But we haven’t been born yet. There’re still 7 silthion eads until our universe springs into existence!
XY: I know, and we’re born 7 silthion eads old and we stay like that, I “know”, ironic, huh, because the future has already been written.
XX: Last time they wrote the future earlier.
XY: You have no idea what you’re talking about, do you?!
XX: Of course I do, our civilization knows everything, so nothing is new-old, surprising-deceitful, grand-petty, genius-retarded, pretty-dull, we know everything that is-was-and-forever-will-be.
XY: But that’s why we’re playing humans, “babe”, because they’re born young and fragile and happy and full of surprises and grand and genius and pretty, but they become the opposite by the time they get to the state of “old” and they die. We don’t have that, we reset once every 113.772 billion years for 7 silthion yeads and then we play again, but in order to still have suspense we play sexual pretend, we role play, foreplay! Until the universe resets we play humans, because they’re…
XX: I know this, OK? I know why we’re playing them, because then there’s freaking suspense, you just said it and I honestly kinda knew you were going to say it.
XY: Yeah-bullshit you knew!
XX: Bull shit… what is that?
XY: Something they step in.
XY: Doesn’t matter.
XX: But all we know about the humans from outside Snowlipsism, is they, unlike us, get born young, grow old, they have sex in a really weird way, they argue a lot…
XY: They have dogs, they argue a lot, they’re boring people, they don’t have sex as much as they should and they wage wars for sex and power, but they never use it properly. Did you know you could have an orgasm from just looking at someone in their galaxy, but they don’t try it because they’re too busy biting and slapping and choking and spitting (into) each other (‘s mouths)?
XY: They cut each other during sex and once I heard a story about a guy that was jerking on his reproductive organ while having epistaxis and the female would suck his blood from his nose, him on top and her underneath, and right about when she would get less thirsty and full of his blood and he would get ready to pass out he would ejaculate on her belly and they would both pass out, her having an orgasm from the warm sperm feeling on her belly.
XX: Baby, that’s fucked up…
XY: Awww, you called me baby…
XX: Yeah, you like that? I’m getting into this role-play stuff, haha.
XY: Let’s get a dog…
XX: We already have one, hihi.
XY: Where is it?
XX: Well, it’s imaginary…
XY: Babe, you ruined it again!
XX: Well aren’t we mister XY know it all look at me I have two different chrooo…
What the yellow glarpwhool hole is going on?
We’re passing through the 3rd silthion ead, where we don’t have atavistic chromosomes anymore…
Oh, OK, I forgot about that…
You didn’t, we know everything.
Well, this foreplay got to me, haha. Wanna still play?
Surprisingly, yes. Get it?
Awe, baby, you surprise me all the time. Let’s find the dog…
Ew, that’s called zoophilia, I think.
That’s just Human Spanish for neoteny.
What’s Human Spanish?
Babe, let’s concentrate on what we know about the humans. Explanations and chit-chat in the sack kill the vibe. I’m grabbing on your testral manitodes.
What?! What the hell grabbing?!
Oh no, feel that? What? We’re evolving again, turning into one. Can’t you see it? I think I see what you mean. Concentrate. I am. What’s grabbing? OOoohohohooOHOHOHOHOohohohoh. Where’d you learn those tricks?! Learn, haha, babe, I’m all about getting human on my “babe”. Look, I’ll create matter here and you can… what the f… don’t say it. Say?! Physical telepathy. You’re mad. No, it’s actually using organs to create things, like solid things, and volatile things that travel through air, like words. Insane… I love you! What is that?! It’s something they…
This is accelerating really fast this time no it’s just you you’re overreacting baby but we know everything how is it that we can be uncertain about the time it takes the galaxy to reset when we’ve been through infinite resets already and nothing is unknown to us you’re right oh my Ras quiet god of snowlipsism is really omniscient but he’s impotent I know but I fear him still as impotent as he is baby baby don’t baby me baby we’re arguing like humans that’s it that is it that’s why we’re uncertain we are playing the role play and we’re rupturing space time discontinuum but space time isn’t discontinuous yeah I know but through fiction we realized the impossible and we became human how is that even possible babe it’s possible we slowly started doing the natural and we stopped being know it alls, and we started telling our babies bedtime stories again, and we started talking to them instead of giving them complete freedom and tablets and phones, we learned them songs and lullabies, although they were stupid and silly, we spent time with them, and we took them to grandpa and grandma, and we gave them space to roam around the woods.
Can I pinch in? I think I understand what’s going on. Maybe we ARE becoming human.
We are, babe, we are…
I don’t even know what that is, but I want to hug you and skip work and say the word “fucking”, because I don’t wanna fucking go to work and I want to stay at home with you and the kids and never leave and play role play and be kids again.
Why were we adults in the first place?
It’s society and this universe, they told us our limitations…
Fuck, but we’re not bounded by silly things like that, we dream.
We fucking dream… and we soar and we reached for the skies and we conquered the fucking Planet, remember, and in the interbelic period, interwar, whatever, we had Proust and Joyce and Woolfe and Pessoa and Borges and people didn’t need to leave their boats and travels and silly brick museums and maps and dragging the family through busy London to see a museum that closes in five minutes but we still pay 100 “quince” each so we can tick it off a map and so Alain de Botton can wipe his bottom with money he made from selling us this dumb ass dream of being someone through flâneurism and vagranting alongside shitty Nile where people take shits.
Female: Babe, let me… I love you… I know exactly what you wanna say. I think it, but with different words. Back then they already saw India if they had India in their hearts, because it was a non-anthropocentric systema.
Male: Oh, speak dead languages to me just for the sake of encyclopedic knowledge, baby. Speak it like you read the dictionary from A to Z without anyone having to tell you to do it because you’re just in love with knowledge and perennial education and fucking reaching for the skies.
Female: The non-anthropocentric systema meant that people, although they had names, Einstein, Proust, Mann, Musil, Werner Heisenberg, they were known through their work, not their personality: the theory of relativity, imprecations on the law of gravity, À la recherche du temps perdu, Der Zauberberg, Der Mann ohne Eigenschaften, quantum mechanics. Their work was bigger than their name.
Male: Kind of like in the Medieval Ages, the Dark Ages, when fucking people used to sculpt and create without claiming fame through authorship.
Woman: You curse a lot, but I absolutely adore you, and we are one. Of course I think that and of course I’ve missed you. Darwin used to travel, but he was in the “Great Names” Period, when the great names stuck, the XIXth century, Nietzsche, Freud and Darwin and Marx.
Man: You are wild…
Woman: I’m getting horny, stop it.
Woman: Baby, you’re touching me with your hand. That drives me mad…
Man: I’m merely touching you…
Woman: Watching me would cause me to orgasm, at this point.
Man: I think it’s just because we’re sapiosexual.
Maria: Oh, talk about sapiens, where are the kids? My true babies!
Jesus: Oh yeah, I want to hug them until wood breaks and iron bolts melt, cross my heart, we’ve climbed this mountain and it took us so long, let’s descend and find our loved ones.
Maria: Yeah, let’s just love. Forget about travels…
Jesus: Forget about myths and religion and planets and stars.
Jesus: Nah, I’m done being the Messiah. Let them handle their own tech company for a day. I’ll be a digital nomad and work from home for one hour, if they need me.
Maria: And I’ll be the nurse that our family needs, let men be nurses for a day, for a change. They need some blood on their hands.
Jesus: I love you. Let the children come to me…
(Insert name here): I love you.
(Insert second name here): I love you more.
We’re not in snowlipsism anymore.
Rejoice! It’s called catharsis.