‘Good morning!’ 😀
‘How can I help you, sir?’ 🙂
‘Lemme do a…’😮
‘Can I do a bagel?’😮
‘Are you shitting me right now?’😯
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Look here, mister! How the fuck are you gonna tell me if you can do a bagel when the only way you can make can work is through me, and you haven’t answered to my hello and you haven’t used please. Please, you ignorant fuck, we use please! Simply alluding that you can doesn’t make it so you may, you asswipe! You read me?!
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You meet what, 50+ people you should say hello, good morning to, per day, each day, and you don’t say shit to them because you think money can buy you anything and you don’t need to be nice anymore, but instead you use fillers like “basically” and “like”, unlike I used like right now, and you fuck up the language for me and for the entire human race?! Aren’t we little hypocrites? How about saying hello when you enter a shop, make eye contact, because that’s why all of this country’s polite people are the ones behind the counter, the bus drivers that wait and wait and hope you’re gonna say something when you get your fat ass up the bus, but you never do, so they’re bound to only be nice when they work, everything’s transactional to the core, we’re all prisoners of our own device, and instead of saying please and thank you we just ask like it’s our right to be served because we’re walking wallets?! No, cocksucker! Why are you fucking pointing to that bagel?! You’ve still got your finger in the air… why?! Do you think I don’t know how a bagel looks like?! I sell bagels, not tigers. I’ve seen bagels. You want that bagel?! There’s no other fucking bagel on display. That’s the only bagel, moron. Next to it is a cookie. Do you want a cookie?! No, you want a bagel, because you’re a fat stupid lump of lard. I shouldn’t even feed you a bagel. I should feed you water. Still water. Want a bagel?! Water. Want a cookie?! Still water. Water has no calories. Water doesn’t make you fat. Bagel makes you fat. Why do you want a bagel? Please. How are we going to get a bagel?! “I would like to have a bagel, please”. And I could do with a “how was your day?” and some fucking 😯 😯 😯 😯 curious smileys. No, they’re not emoji, they’re smileys, you use facial expressions, you perverted cunt! You don’t need to be interested in my personality or character, you just need to feign social relationships until you go to your fat cave and fap to McNuggets all night long. Out here?! Society. See?! Bagels. Cookies. Mineral water. You’re not getting any of those. Still water. It’s for free. I won’t even fucking bother to sell it to you, just to show you how your money isn’t welcomed here. Your money I wipe my ass with it here. Please. Bagel. I will feed you water inside a glass, because plastic cups destroy the environment and plastic bottles destroy the? The?! Aaaa,aaaa-aa-a- -a-a-a- what?! What?! Get the fuck out of here and don’t you dare fucking use that levitating dumb finger to touch my glass display. This isn’t McDrive where you order through a touchscreen, faggot! If you touch that glass I will need to come over through yonder and wipe down your fingerprint with a special anti-dickhead cloth. Do you think anti-dickhead cloths grow in McDonald’s filled amusement park malls?! And why would you leave your fingerprint?! Does it say “Leave your stupid with us” on the front door?! Does it say “Stupid leaves marks day” somewhere?! No, it doesn’t. People leave marks by smiling and being nice. Not by pressing their index on the glass. People leave marks by saying something smart, not “can I do a…” Get the FUCK outta here! And don’t you dare contract it to “y’alright”. No, I’m not alright, since you didn’t bother to ask and listen. I’m not. I’d be a human carcass if I were alright. Like you! Here’s your fucking glass of still water, fatso!